Question:
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah
What should a daughter do and react if her father passes a shameless and immodest comment regarding her or someone else in front of her?
Can she hate him or not? And how must she stop herself from getting depressed?
Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We sincerely apologize for our belated response.
Your query relates to two issues.
1) Your attitude towards your father’s comments
2) Depression
1) At the outset, Islam is averse to all types of lewdness and indecency. Thus, your dislike of your father’s comments is natural. You should express your discomfort and dislike when these comments are made. If these comments occur in a particular setting, you should avoid finding yourself in such environments. Furthermore, you should consult an influential member that will address these issues to your father.
2) Sister, this difficulty you face is but a testing from Allah. Tests and calamities are a part of the natural order of things, and everyone is confronted by it. However, the attitude of a Muslim regarding difficulties and tragedies is different from that of the disbelievers. While a disbeliever remains confused about his troubles, a believer firmly believes they are from Allah. A believer is comforted, knowing that calamities are a means of forgiving sins and increasing ranks.
The challenge that you refer to is decreed by Allah, Al-Hakeem (the most wise). He knows why he has put you in this situation. Be rest assured that you can deal with all the challenges you are facing. In the time of difficulty, it is essential to try to stay positive. Here are some ways:
a) Be optimistic, and try to change your paradigm. Do not view these difficulties as a punishment, but rather as a means of cleansing and reward.
b) Dispel any thoughts of negativity, and do not let yourself dwell on them.
c) Regard every day as a new day and opportunity. Do not let that which occurred in previous days affect your emotions on a new day.
d) Identify the positive things that happen in your day and focus your attention on them. Spend time being grateful for those things.
e) Obtain a copy of Qaseedah Burdah by my honourable teacher, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb (Hafizahullah), for spiritual revival and motivation. You may also listen to it here
