Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakutuhu
I am a mixed race individual striving to improve myself and my Deen daily. The purpose of this question is outside of marriage I have not guarded my privates (Sending videos/pics through Skype/Snapchat)and I’ve watched porn including the type where actresses wear the headscarf and do the shameful acts. I have made a firm intention today to stay clean and on the straight path insha’Allah and I will be praying salaah taubah before I sleep for repentance and not do this anymore!
Can you advise of anything else I can do for Allah s.w.t to completely forgive me as I really regret my past and feel very shameful about it all and the akhirat really scares me. I really wish I could rewind time.
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
It is encouraging to note your realisation of your sins and your intention to reform yourself.
This is Tawfeeq from Allah Ta’ala. When Allah gives someone the realisation of his wrongs, that is a great bounty. Allah wishes to draw the person to His mercy with Tawba and reformation.
Thank Allah for that realisation and capitalize on that. Make sincere Tawba to Allah and make a firm intention to reform your life. If an individual is sincere in making Tawbah and safeguarding himself from sins, he can be rehabilitated according to his level of sincerity. If one makes a firm intention of never committing that sin and regrets his past actions, Inshallah, Allah Ta’ala will wipe his slate clean. See the following:
وَالَّذِينَ عَمِلُوا السَّيِّئَاتِ ثُمَّ تَابُوا مِن بَعْدِهَا وَآمَنُوا إِنَّ رَبَّكَ مِن بَعْدِهَا لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ (سورة الأعراف: 153)
Translation: “But those who committed misdeeds and then repented after them and believed – indeed your Lord, thereafter, is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Surah Al-Araaf: 153)
إِلَّا مَن تَابَ وَآمَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا فَأُولَٰئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ ۗ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا (سورة الفرقان: 70)
Translation: “Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (Surah Al-Furqaan: 70)
عَنْ أَنَسٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ (جامع الترمذي: 2499)
Translation: Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.”
(Jami Al-Tirmidhi: 2499)
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: يَحْكِي عَنْ رَبِّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ ” أَذْنَبَ عَبْدِي ذَنْبًا فَقَالَ: يَا رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِي ذَنْبِي، فَقَالَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ: أَذْنَبَ عَبْدِي ذَنْبًا فَعَلِمَ أَنَّ لَهُ رَبًّا يَغْفِرُ الذَّنْبَ وَيَأْخُذُ بِالذَّنْبِ ثَلَاثَ مِرَارٍ قَالَ: فَيَقُولُ اعْمَلْ مَا شِئْتَ قَدْ غَفَرْتُ لَكَ” (مسند أحمد: 10379)
Translation: Abu Hurairah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrate that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said that Allah Ta’ala says: “My servant commits a sin then says, “Oh my Lord, forgive me for my sin.” So Allāh the Almighty says, “My servant committed a sin and knew that he has a Lord that can forgive sins and can punish because of sins.” Rasūlullāh Sallallāhu ‘alaihi wa Sallam mentioned this three times. Thereafter, Allāh Ta’ālā says, “Do as you please; I have forgiven you (meaning that no matter how many times you sin, if you repent, I will forgive you.” (Musnad Ahmed: 10379)
Brother, Allah created us to worship Him. However, remember that we have two enemies, the Nafs and the Shitaan. One attacks from within and the other from outside.
إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ (سورة يوسف: 53)
Translation: “Verily the Nafs incites towards evil.” (Surah Yusuf: 53)
قَالَ فَبِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأَقْعُدَنَّ لَهُمْ صِرَاطَكَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ – ثُمَّ لَآتِيَنَّهُم مِّن بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَانِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَائِلِهِمْ
Translation: [Shaitaan] said, “Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left.” (Surah Al-Araaf: 16-17)
The fundamental element in combatting the Nafs and self reformation is courage and determination. Try your hardest to remain firm and resolute in your quest. Never give up hope. In the beginning,suppressing the Nafs from these sins might be extremely difficult, but after constant struggle and battlingagainst the Nafs, the Nafs will be tamed and you will feel pleasure in refraining from sins.
Brother, you have already overcome the hardest step which is admitting and accepting that it is a mistake and declaring that you want to stop it. The main thing from here onwards is to immediately undertake remedial measures to solve your addiction.
We advise you to immediately identify a spiritual guide who you may seek advice and guidance from. Spending time in his companyand supervision and adhering to his advice will enable you to overcome this challenge.
In the meantime, consider the following measures:
1) Be conscious that Allah Ta’ala is watching you. Would you commit such acts in the presence of your father or mother or any person you respect?
2) Stay away from all such avenues that spurs one’s carnal desires
3) Try to keep your devices in a place where everyone can see what you are doing. This will deter one from visiting immoral sites. When you have the urge to commit sins, switch off the devices and immediately leave your room and come back when your desires are supressed.
4) Keep yourself occupied at all times. Keep a Tasbeeh with you and whenever you have time, make Dhikr. Remember that “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop”.
5) Frequent the Masjid and the company of pious people.
6) A practical thing one can do to stop any bad habit is to make a promise to Allah the Almighty that he will not commit the sin, and for each time he does after that, he will give a certain amount of money in charity.
7) Continuously make Du’a to Allah to help you abstain from such a sin. Make as much as Tawbah as possible. If your Tawbah is sincere, Allah will grant you the ability to refrain from sins.
8) Obtain a copy of Qaseedah Burdah by my honourable teacher, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb (Hafizahullah), for spiritual revival and a more effective outcome. You may also access it via the following link: https://daruliftaa.net/qaseeda-burdah/